Vote With Your Brain, But Not If We Don’t Agree.
By Arrow Santos
Fall is in the air, pumpkin-everything is everywhere, we only have to complain about e-bikes before and after school hours now, and Election season is upon us.
Every couple of years, we experience this special time of unity and civil enthusiasm, where everyone easily agrees on the solutions we all intrinsically know are best for the issues we all universally agree are, indeed, issues.
But since we have orbited about 185 million miles since the last election, we put together this super simple and easy-to-follow guide to refresh our collective memories on how we know what we know and why we can know anything at all, resulting in who we should all vote for of course.
Just remember to vote for what your parents believed in, using the values they raised you with, unless they are old and out of touch and you have progressed past their truth and now know what is truly true so you can teach that to the next generation of upcoming voters you are raising in your home, unless, of course, society moves past what you established by the time your children reach adulthood in which case they will need to read this article for themselves in 20 years.
So after review, scratch all that and vote for what you just inherently know to be right and good by using your own individual brain that springs forth universal common knowledge, even though you must teach your kids right from wrong and instruct them on everything else about the basic facts of life instead of allowing them to act out what they naturally desire from within their own human brains because they are wrong and you know best as the parent, unless, of course, it’s your own parent giving you advice on your current life because then we can agree they don’t know anything at all and are overbearing and shriveled, as we established above.
You know what, this is getting messy; let’s leave the unpacked childhood trauma stuff to the side, and instead remember to vote for the person you have seen the most yard signs supporting – the one who has won the approval of the most voters. Unless, of course, you personally disagree and have a deep repugnant hatred for said electee, in which case the majority of voters are wrong and are knuckle-dragging, misogynistic, racist, pours-their-milk-before-their-cereal Neanderthals who collectively chose a really very bad leader who you need to disparage on social media by verbally attacking the physical appearance of said leader because they certainly deserve it, especially for the way they always make fun of the physical appearance of other people – which of course is entirely not okay to do.
This is getting confusing and uncomfortable; let’s just rely on science. Yes, there we go! I love science! Science can prove all the answers we need to know about morality, society, and voting. Oh wait, we can’t even prove that single sentence with science. Darn!
After review, it seems we are in need of an ultimate, unchanging, actual, established, timeless, spaceless, immaterial, personal, powerful standard by which to know the ultimate truth and have a reason beyond ourselves for why we do anything.
Oh wait, this is a business column and I’m careening into offensive territory for 2022? My mistake.
Forget everything so far. Here we go. The ultimate solution for the ballot box in November: The San Clemente Chamber of Commerce is excited to announce that the two San Clemente City Council candidates receiving the Chamber’s official endorsement are Aaron Washington and Victor Cabral! Vote for them in November. Good luck to Victor and Aaron!
Arrow Santos is a San Clemente native, professional writer/photographer, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup enthusiast, and follower of Jesus. As marketing director of WynneCRE, he has shown his dedication to helping small businesses with their commercial real estate needs and protecting San Clemente’s small-town interests through active community participation and reporting on business news topics. Email Arrow at arrow@wynnecre.com or call/text at 949.257.2093.